The Advice of Captain Obvious

Because I read too much into these types of things, I've been contemplating this weeks blog topic since Monday and wondering about what I should write about. Of course, I had to make it complicated and try to find something profound to write about instead of sticking to something easy like...uh...okay, when it comes to me, nothing is ever easy, so I guess that was over before it even began.

I digress.

In attempts of trying to figure out what to write about, I read some of my old journal entries and various blog posts from different sites, and I've come to a conclusion: I wish I knew as much now, at 23 (in 6 days!), as I did when I was 16. Boy, I thought I had it all figured out. I was so clueless, and yet I felt like I was so informed. Ha. Isn't it amazing what 7 years and lots of trials and tribulations will do for the completion of the soul?

When I was younger, I thought I had the answer to everything. It was a horrific day when I came to the realization that I don't even know half the questions yet.  It doesn't matter how grown you are, you will never know everything. Tough.

I remember when I thought a broken heart was the worst feeling in the world. I learned quickly that there is indeed something worse: being the person who inflicts another person with a broken heart. I remember that sting, that ache left from the empty spot in  my chest. The fact that I know I've done that to someone else makes me sick to my stomach. How could I, when I knew how badly it hurt? And you know what hurts even worse than being the heart breaker? Knowing that you literally had no other option other than doing the breaking. You scramble, trying to figure out how to avoid it, but you can't. In a breakup/death/ending of a friendship, someone is moving on and someone is being left behind. I've been both of those people (except for the whole dying thing, haven't done that yet and don't plan on it for a while **knocks on wood**), and it sucks, plain and simple.

I also remember thinking that if someone beaks up with you, someone had to have done something wrong. Either he left me for another girl (I'm not gonna lie, that's happened to me a few times and it was not fun, let me tell ya) or there was something wrong with me. Guess what? Sometimes relationships just don't work out. It doesn't have to be anybodies fault. Most of the time, you can split the blame right down the middle. It is absolutely okay to realize that maybe that person isn't who you're meant to be with at that time in your life, maybe ever. It is so much better to simply bow out gracefully than possibly lose someone that could have, and probably should have, been your very best friend later on.

I have also learned that (and I'm still guilty of this, mind) I like to complicate things. This blog is proof. I don't think I am ever truly satisfied unless I'm struggling with something. So much of who I am is wrapped up in this constant internal conflict with myself. I can never just let things be simple. Nothing can ever be easy. If it's easy, it can't be real. If it comes as simple as breathing, there has to be a catch. I know, I'm incredibly weird and I'm working on it.

And so, in the spirit of being "simple", I am going to post a list of random facts about myself. Enjoy guys!

Disturbed is the best band ever! 

My favorite color is cerulean, but I love wearing purple and green

I adore Applejacks and baked potatoes

I still secretly listen to Backstreet Boys

My first heartbreak happened at 16

One day one of my books will be on your shelf

I took singing lessons for 3 years, but I am stage fright inclined

My secret aspiration is to be somebodies hero

I have an accent

I'm also Captain Obvious

I like eating spaghetti at midnight

I'm not as clumsy as I appear, I just like to make people laugh

Don't yell at me because I promise, I'm louder than you

I live in the world of imagination and no cell phone service

I think real courage is hard to find these days

The longest I've slept is 18 hours

I am not your typical catty female

I'm small, but I have a mean right hook

Don't underestimate me, my resolve will be your downfall

No one puts baby in the corner!

Good manners will go far with me

So will a sense of humor

I’m not a vengeful person but I do believe in Karma.

I have the temper of a sinner and the patience of a Saint.

Second chances must be earned and this ain’t baseball son!

If you lie to me I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget

And I'll make sure you never forget either

I'm not easily intimidated, but feel free to try

I still wish on every shooting star I see

I have no use for a coward

I do not scare easily

I daydream out loud because I feel like dreams should be shared

I forgive you

Well ladies and gents, that's all she wrote for tonight! Remember, as the great Dolly Parton said in the movie Steel Magnolias, "Smile! It increases your face value!"

Alison